Be Yourself - But Better

Originally posted on April 7, 2007

Eli: I should have you vouch for me, like a character reference or something.
Eron: Are you nuts? I’d have to tell the truth.
Eli: Well sure you would, but at least you could go with Version B.

Eron: There aren’t versions of the truth, Eli.
Eli: Sure there are. And at least your version would be taken seriously. For some reason chicks always believe you earnest, quiet-spoken types.

Eron: No, people take me seriously because I don’t come up with a Version B to cover my a… to cover up when I do something stupid. Because unlike you, I don’t do something stupid very often since I use my head before I act.
Eli: Yeah, your head and about a week to get moving.

Eron: Do that and I’ll have to break your arm.
Eli: What?
Eron: Feed that beer to my cuttings. They’re underage.

Eli: Oops, sorry. Didn’t think.
Eron: My point exactly…. Besides, I don’t even know her.
Eli: Who?

Eron: Try to keep up, Eli. Cassandra. She’s way too smart. She’d know something was up if I approached her out of the blue and started singing your praises. Not that I could with a straight face anyway.

Eli: You are so totally lacking in familial loyalty. And here I thought I could count on you. C’mon, Eron, you know I’d do it for you…
Eron: Yeah, that and a dollar…

Eli: Butthead.
Eron: Moron.
Eli: Flake.
Eron: Jerk.

Eli: You want another Pepsi?
Eron: Sure, long as you’re buying.

Eli: I just want to see where all this goes. Want to see what develops without her getting scared off by rumor and innuendo. Some people probably think…
Eron: You never cared one bit about what other people thought before. Why start now?

Eli: Can’t say why it’s important now, but it is. I wonder why….
Eron: Maybe you need to answer that question before you do anything else, Eli. Figure out why it’s important. And take a little advice from your ‘little’ bro…
Eli: Yeah?

Eron: Do your own legwork. Be yourself, but be nice. Be persistent, but be patient. Girls seem to enjoy looking at that ugly mug of yours, so even three out of four might be enough.
Eli: Ya think?
Eron: Pretty sure.

Eli: It’s crazy enough…. it just might work.

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