Rules of Engagement
Originally posted on February 17, 2007
Eli: Ha! Caught up with you!
Kaida: Eeeeep! Let me go!
Eli: One thing you need to know about me, munchkin….
Kaida: I don’t want to know anything about you. Let me by.
Eli: (ignoring her) I got a real strong liking for retribution. When it’s warranted. And I’m thinking someone who sends someone else through the trap door on a dark stage might just deserve some.
Kaida: I said I was sorry.
Eli: Yeah, because your sister made you say it. I can tell sorry, and you weren’t it. But maybe you are now…
Kaida: I was! I am! Sorry….!
Eli: Thing is, I don’t think you’re sorry that you sent me through that trap at all. I think you’re only sorry you got caught!
Kaida: You know what? You’re right! And I’d do it again! I don’t like bullies. So stop bullying me, just because you’re built like freaking Goliath! Or you’re going to be sorry…
Eli: What are you going to do, bite my kneecaps?
Kaida: (glares at him) I might!
Eli: (backing off) There, was that so hard?
Kaida: What? Huh?
Eli: You know Kaida, it’s a good thing I’m starting to like you. Or else you’d be bug splat right now, girl or not. But I like scrappers.
Kaida: I don’t get it. You treat people you like this way? What do you do to people you don’t like?
Eli: If I don’t like someone I just don’t bother with them at all. You remind me of someone I like a whole lot, so I guess we’re going to have to come to some understanding. Rules of engagement, so to speak.
Kaida: I don’t think that’s going to be too easy. I like to do battle with my wits, and you like to throw your weight around. I’m like half your size and you have about half the brainpow…….
Eli: Don’t…… finish that.
Kaida: …Neither would be a fair fight.
Eli: Who said I like fair fights? I definitely like having the advantage.
Kaida: Me too!
Eli: I’ll make a deal with you.
Kaida: (warily) What?
Eli: I’ll promise not to squash you like a bug if you’ll promise to be a worthy adversary. I can’t stand wimps. So if we’re gonna fight let’s at least make it worthwhile. More fun that way.
Kaida: Wait – WAIT! You want someone to fight with, but only if we follow rules? You’re weird. But hey, so am I. And at least weird isn’t boring. I never had a brother to fight with, might be fun like you say.
Eli: And I never had a little sister to pick on – always had to torment Eron. And he’s too “peace-at-all-costs.” Not much fun in that.
Kaida: Is that why you two make those crazy bets? Is that your way of making him fight?
Eli: Could be. Maybe you’re pretty smart there after all.
Kaida: I’d say thanks, but I’m not stupid enough to take that as a compliment, especially since it came from you.
Eli: Good idea. Don’t trust me. Never trust an adversary – worthy or not.
Kaida: Oh no worries there. I remember my fairy tales. The giant is always some mean and nasty bad guy.
Eli: (laughing) A lot of your fairy tales have wily, wicked females in ‘em too. They’re usually called witches. Just remember that.
Kaida: I will. Hey Eli, one question.
Eli: Yeah?
Kaida: Um… who do I remind you of? That you like a whole lot?
Eli: Me, Munchkin. You remind me of ME. Except you’re a girl and you’re short.