SOAP BUBBLES: Introducing Canaan
Originally posted on October 1, 2008
SOAP BUBBLES
by Melisa Townsend-Adams
Canaan James Abernathy IV
Age: 27
Birthday: September 26th (Libra)
Occupation: Actor (of course)
For the past four years, Canaan Abernathy has starred on the popular daytime drama “Tumultuous Love” as Dr. Sterling Montrose, a successful, brilliant, and perennially unattached heart surgeon whose abundance of good looks and sex appeal enables him to steal hearts as fast as he heals them. Singlehandedly responsible for a recent outbreak of acute hypochondria in town, the much-lusted-after and unbelievably gifted surgeon has alternately operated on and slept with some of the most sought-after female stars in daytime television.
But this paragon of cardiological prowess is only a work of fiction; what of the actor who brings Dr. Montrose to life on the small screen? Adored by millions in real life, Canaan James Abernathy IV has amassed a huge fan base all over the world, where his portrayals of the doctor’s frequent romantic exploits are eagerly anticipated by scores of sighing women and dismissed in disgust (but watched in secret) by nearly as many men. As is often the case, obsessed fans fail to distinguish between their favorite character and the star who plays the role, and CJ4 is savvy enough to indulge them in their fantasies. When he is asked for an autograph, Canaan whips out a prescription pad and dashes off “Sterling Montrose, MD, in suitably unreadable handwriting.
Ivy League educated (no doubt thanks to generous bequests by alumni CJ2 and CJ3) and rumored to be filthy rich (he is, after all, the fourth Canaan James of the influential Hudson Valley Abernathy’s) CJ4 appears to casual acquaintances carelessly unconcerned with finding his place in the world. Although apparently blasé about his future and less than ambitious, Canaan is an actor of significant talent who has lingered longer on the soap than anyone would have predicted, but has recently begun a leisurely re-assessment of his professional options.
So what does the hunky Abernathy have in common with the doctor he plays?
“Very little,” CJ4 cheerfully admits, “Although I’ve been told numerous times, by sources who shall remain unnamed, that I have a most satisfying… that is, satisfactory … bedside manner.”
But I’m sure you did not buy this paper to read all about CJ4 at all, did you? Rest assured that my feelings will not be hurt if you turned to Soap Bubbles’ exclusive photographic offering before looking at my article.
I like my dessert first, too.
