Put That In Your Notebook, Ms. Godard
Originally posted on May 5, 2007
Eron: Hey, Cassandra. Eli’s on his way. Told me to let you in when you got here.
Cassandra: He did call, and told me he’s running late. That’s okay – it gives me a chance to talk to you a bit now.
Eron: Me?
Cassandra: Yes, you. Isn’t it conceivable that in order to get to know Eli, I would have to also get to know his identical twin? I realized how important that would be when I first observed the two of you interacting.
Eron: Hmmm, not so sure about that….
Cassandra: (laughing) Don’t worry – it should be painless. Why don’t you just tell me what you are doing here with your plants. What are those flowers called? The yellow ones?
Eron: Oh, that’s Oenothera Biennis, evening Primrose. Very useful plant in the garden and even more useful in my business. It’s used for its oil, in medicines and food supplements and that’s…..uh….. probably more than you wanted to know.
Cassandra: No, it’s very interesting. See, isn’t this painless? And this one? What will you use this one for?
Eron: I’m experimenting a little with edible flowers, supplying a little vegetarian restaurant up the road with some for their special salads and desserts. That’s calendula, or pot marigold. Also known as poor man’s saffron. It’s spicy flavored, but I think it’s most often compared to saffron because it colors things yellow……Sorry… I could go on and on…… are you really getting anything out of this? I mean – shouldn’t you just stick to interviewing Eli? He has no problem answering questions. He’ll tell you anything.
Cassandra: Actually, that’s not turning out to be the case. Yes, he’ll answer, but as far as actually telling me anything? Eli talks and talks and talks some more, but when he’s all done, I realize that he has actually told me very little. Unfortunately, I don’t realize until much later that he hasn’t really given me any information.
Eron: I’m not sure how much help you need then. If you’ve already figured that out about him, you seem to be on the right track.
Cassandra: It doesn’t feel like that, Eron. Sometimes I feel like I’m not accomplishing anything but rather just confusing the entire situation. I wonder if my coming here wasn’t a mistake after all….
Eron: Oh, I don’t know….. back up a little for me….What was the reason behind all the research again?
Cassandra: I am in the personal observation stage of a comprehensive evaluation of Eli’s personality. He… sort of asked me to do an assessment. But I have been so frustrated trying to fit him into the proper category that it became expedient to conduct face-to-face interviews in addition to the written survey component. So here I am.
Eron: And this was Eli’s idea? Doesn’t sound like him.
Cassandra: Can I be frank?
Eron: Please.
Cassandra: I came because I wanted to…..spend time with Eli. But I’m serious about the research - it’s not just an excuse. I believe very strongly that I can tell most of what I need to know about a person by finding out what category he…. (Eron is shaking his head) What?
Eron: Um……Cassandra, I am going to go out on a limb here. I think you may be placing way too much faith in your scales and categories.
Eron: People…. well, people are just not as easily categorized as say… this bunch of flowering plants. People are complicated, different. Not so easy to predict how they’ll react, like with these guys here...
>Eli: (upon arrival) Well, aren’t you two all cozy and conversational here?
Eron: Eli, be nice. I was just showing Cassandra…
Cassandra: There’s nothing happening here to warrant that tone, Eli. I’m looking at Eron’s plants – nothing about that should cause you to be suspicious.
Eli: Did I say I was suspicious? I don’t remember saying that. Funny you should use that word.
>Cassandra: I think I’m ready to leave now, Eli. Are you?
Eli: Sure, Tiny. Lead on.
Cassandra: Eli, you were really out of line back there.
Eli: Was I? From where I was, it looked like you two were getting real chummy.
Cassandra: Well, we were not. I was interested in talking to Eron and looking at his plants, not in Eron himself. You should know by now that I am only interested in …. (she breaks it off abruptly)
Eli: Why don’t you finish that?
Cassandra: I am only interested in continuing my pursuit of your personality profile and those results. I try not to take on too many studies simultaneously. I am extremely conscientious about tainting my results with….
Eli: Oh yes, Ms. Godard, let’s by all means remain scientific. Let’s study the facts, shall we?
One: You’re here, I’m here, we’re alone together. I’m a guy and you’re a girl.
Two: I’m incredibly attracted to you, research or no research, and
Three: I haven’t kissed you for a couple days now.
Eli: I’ve been trying to be patient, but you’re back to being unapproachable. So you will need to excuse me if I taint all my research in one go….. .
Eli: Put THAT in your notebook, Ms. Godard.