Not-So-Subliminal Messages
Originally posted on April 27, 2007
Eli: Hey Tiny, how’s it going today?
Cassandra: I wish you would stop calling me that.
Eli: Sorry, it just pops out, every time I look way down there and notice how teensy you are. Can’t help myself.
Cassandra: You apparently need a reminder that limited stature does not indicate limited abilities. I’ll thank you to address me professionally and respectfully at all times during these interview sessions. It simply won’t do to have you…..
Eli: Ok, Ok, I get it! How are you this fine day – Ms. Godard?
Cassandra: I’m lovely, Eli, thank you. And you?
Eli: I’d be a good deal lovelier if you weren’t being so stiff and formal.
Cassandra: I’m afraid it’s necessary, Eli. If you are to take me seriously and treat my work with the respect it deserves, I cannot have you acting familiar throughout the process. If I maintain a professional demeanor it sends a subliminal message to you that encourages you to act professional as well. It’s sound practice for any researcher.
Eli: But not all that much fun.
Cassandra: I don’t believe I ever promised that this portion of my visit would be fun, Eli. But it doesn’t need to be a chore either.
Eli: Tiny, errrr….. Cassandra, anytime you ask me to be patient it’s going to be a chore. You might as well start your notes right there. Write: “Eli does not like to be patient when all he can think about is kissing someone.” Go ahead, put that down.
Cassandra: (slightly flustered, trying to ignore the reference to kissing) Well, *clears throat* perhaps we can work on increasing your level of patience after my initial evaluation is completed. But we really should not take on too much at once.
Eli: Awwww, you’re not too much to take on all at once, Ti……uh, Cassandra. You’re so little I could hold you tight with one arm.
Cassandra: (still more uncomfortable at the reference to “holding tight”) Eli, I’d like to begin with a simple discussion of your likes and dislikes What is one activity you enjoy indulging….ahh, participating in most?
Eli: Ah, Ms. Godard, I’m guessing you do not want me to go there.
Cassandra: (pauses) Perhaps not. Maybe a re-visit at the end of the interview or…..ahem…. well. Why don’t you tell me about something you don’t like then? A pet peeve perhaps?
Eli: Hmmmm, I think one is….. when a beautiful lady ties her hair all up tight in one of these gizmos….
Eli: ……when she should be showing it off, letting it roam free all over her shoulders………….
Cassandra: (chokes out) Eli, please don’t do that.
Eli: Sorry, Cassandra. Didn’t mean to get carried away there….
Cassandra: Well…. then. Let’s just move ahead to the next set of questions, shall we?
Eli: Oh, I don’t know, I was just beginning to appreciate this part. These questions are so much more interesting than I thought they’d be.
Cassandra: Your refusal to take this seriously is telling me more than you realize, Eli - maybe more than you want me to know. But as fascinating as the information is, I’m afraid we will have to quit if you are just going to waste my time. My study needs to be comprehensive to be worthwhile.
Eli: I’m sorry, Cassandra. I get a little carried away trying to make you smile. You have such a great smile. Don’t stop now – I mean it. You want to go back to the questions? Let’s go back to what I like. I like you, Tiny. More every time you’re around. Even toting around that big old notepad and with your hair all bundled up and your manner all prim and proper, I really like you.
Cassandra: Be that as it may, we still need to discuss your invoice.
Eli: My invoice?
Cassandra: Yes, the itemized charges for my consultation, rendered some time ago on your behalf.
Eli: Ah, that invoice. So Tin….errr, Cassandra, just how much do I owe you?
Cassandra: I am still calculating your fee, Eli. But I’d like a down payment now if you don’t mind.
Cassandra: Don’t worry, I’ll make the rest payable in easy installments.
