Mouse in the House (Introducing Karissa)
Originally posted on January 24, 2009
Melisa: Hey Mouse, is Mother around?
Karissa: I don’t think so. David might be. Do you want me to call him?
Melisa: Are you joking? You know he and I don’t get along.
Karissa: I guess.
Melisa: Sh**, Karrie, don’t you ever get tired of dressing like that? Of looking like that?
Karissa: I don’t know what you mean.
Melisa: Don’t act all clueless with me. Sure you know – I rag on you about it every time I see you.
Karissa: Which, thankfully, isn’t often.
Melisa: You look like some parochial school reject. You need to modernize, girl.
Karissa: Just because I don’t wear the kinds of things you wear….
Melisa: You’d look like hell in the kind of things I wear – that’s not what I mean. Did you actually wear that on campus today?
Karissa: Yes, so what?
Melisa: So - you look like a throwback. You might have gotten away with that getup at a women’s college, fifty years ago, but now…. when was your last date?
Karissa: I’ve been busy with my studies.
Melisa: I know exactly what that means. That means you haven’t gotten a guy to look at you twice for the entire semester. This is worse than I thought. So when was your last date? Your Senior Prom?
Karissa: No….. I had a date for the prom…. but he…. he stood me up --- happy?
Melisa: That my little sister is a pariah? A social zero? No, that doesn’t make me happy. There’s nothing wrong with your looks, Mouse, but you refuse to work with what you have. It’s like you deliberately sabotage …. *disgusted noise* – you should be ashamed, wasting good genes like yours.
Karissa: Stop it! You don’t understand!
Melisa: What’s to understand?
Karissa: Nothing, just…….. nothing.
Melisa: Listen, maybe I was wrong – maybe you really don’t know how to take advantage of your natural assets. But I’m willing to help you out. With my help you’ll be getting those second looks, and a whole lot more.
Karissa: I don’t know….
Melisa: Come on, let me show you what the right makeover can achieve.
Karissa: I don’t want to look like you. Because I’m nothing like you.
Melisa: I’ll take that as a compliment, Dear. No, we’ll find a style that suits you.
Karissa: But nothing too extreme.
Melisa: No, nothing extreme. I have the perfect look in mind for you…
Melisa: We’ll start with your hair.
Karissa: What’s wrong with my hair?
Melisa: *laughs* Only everything, Dear. Hmmmm, maybe red…..and you need to let it grow longer, so you look older…that pixie-ish cut is *shudders* awful. Makes you look about ten.
Karissa: If I agree to this makeover, will you leave me alone?
Melisa: Of course, Mouse. But I’d be willing to bet that the guys on campus won’t, not anymore.
Karissa: I admit it would be nice to be noticed by a guy once in a while.
Melisa: I’ll be by Thursday in the afternoon and we’ll get you to my favorite salon. You won’t be sorry.
Karissa: Okay. *thinks* I’d better not be sorry.
Melisa: Oh, and I just thought of an excellent way you can repay my kindness. Do you still like doing research?
Karissa: Maybe… what kind of research?
Melisa: A little on-the-scene investigation. It will be a great way to test out the effects of your makeover. Among guys with no pre-conceived notion of Karissa-the-Mouse.