Matchmaker, Matchmaker
Originally posted on April 1, 2007
Kaida: You again? If you have nothing better to do than to hang around and bug me, maybe we need to find you a girlfriend. Maybe that would keep you out of my hair.
Eli: Oh, don’t go there, Shortstuff. I’ve heard all about your matchmaking.
Kaida: Then you’ve also heard how good I am at it.
Eli: I have yet to see any proof of that. I think you just got lucky with Asher and Kohana.
Kaida: Are you kidding? That was like my magnum opus! Those two were completely hopeless, I tell ya. But I brought ‘em around. Took real talent and lots of plain old-fashioned elbow grease and…
Eli: And a good deal of sneaky manipulation behind the scenes?
Kaida: Well sure, we modern matchmakers need to use every trick in the book and then some. With Kohana I didn’t stand a chance at outsmarting her so I had to be a little extra… underhanded.
Eli: Yeah sure, take all the credit, Munchkin. Did you ever think maybe they just were attracted to each other? Maybe you didn’t DO anything.
Kaida: Guess I’ll just have to prove to you how good I am. Maybe I’ll have to set you up whether you want it or not. I’ll just bet I could…
Eli: Much as I love a good wager, you’d be the loser on that one. I’ve already got something in the works, anyway.
Kaida: You mean Cassandra? Puh-lease! You two are so unsuited! She seems so smart and serious and steady and….Really, let me look around some more.
Eli: Listen Pipsqueak, I think I can run my own life. Ms Godard is…
Kaida: …Finding it much too easy to resist you, Eli. I’m warning you, it’s not gonna work for you two. I see you more as the type to appreciate…hmmm…. maybe one of the new actresses…..
Eli: Why is everybody always trying to type-cast me? You’ve got me all wrong, Kaida, just like everybody else …
Kaida: I don’t think so. Besides, you really don’t seem to be getting anywhere with Cassandra. She’s probably too smart.
Eli: You don’t you think I can appreciate “smart?”
Kaida: I don’t know, you just don’t seem the type. You seem more the type to go for “obvious.” I think you should just give up on Cassandra Godard. Quit. Cut your losses.
Eli: Is that what you’d do, Miss Fickle-About-Everything?
Kaida: Oh, low blow. And here I am trying to save you the humiliation of being rejected. I don’t know why I bother.
Eli: Me either. I’m certainly not going to take advice from some pint-sized, smart-mouthed, matchmaker wannabe who….
Kaida: Hang on a sec….. Yeah, Pete? AGAIN? oh, all right…..Uh, Pete? You’re like fifteen feet away….you probably didn’t need to use the cell this time. Sheeeesh, techies….
Kaida: Gotta go, Eli. You just think about what I said. You and Cassandra? – It’ll never fly. Not in a million years. Seeya!
Kaida: Note to self: When dealing with a particularly difficult case, reverse psychology could be the best psychology.….
