Guys Don't Make Passes
Originally posted on July 21, 2007
Kaida: So, how’d it go?
Pete: How’d what go?
Kaida: The big date?
Pete: What big date?
Kaida: Wasn’t last night your date with that ‘older woman?’ Your sister’s friend? The looker?
Pete: Oh that big date.
Kaida: You knew what I meant. It’s not as if you have one every night.
Pete: I’m trying to obliterate it from my memory banks. Why’d you have to go and bring it up?
Kaida: That bad, huh?
Pete: Worse than that bad.
Kaida: Wasn’t the outfit, was it?
Pete: Nope, it wasn’t the outfit. Well it could have been, but not MY outfit.
Kaida: What do you mean? Did she make an unfortunate wardrobe decision?
Pete: No, her dress was nice……. at least it used to be.
Kaida: Used to be?
Pete: Yeah, what a time for me to get in touch with my inner klutz.
Kaida: Uh-oh.
Pete: Definitely uh-oh material. I tripped on the edge of the carpet in the theater and spilled some of her Diet Coke down her front.
Kaida: Oh, not good. You didn’t try to soak it up for her, did you?
Pete: I’m clumsy, not stupid. But that wasn’t the first thing. When we first got to the movies and she got out of the car? I suddenly realized where my little sister had left her chocolate pretzels, last time I took her to her swimming lessons.
Kaida: Lemme guess – on the front passenger seat? Tucked down the crack?
Pete: (looks morose) Yup. Didn’t dare say anything when I noticed, and I felt guilty about it all night. Might have been why I got clumsy.
Kaida: (trying to look on the bright side) Well hey, at least you looked great.
Pete: Not that she noticed.
Kaida: (trying to make him feel better) She didn’t? What is she, blind?
Pete: Pretty near, as a matter of fact.
Pete: Can’t see past her nose and she’s too vain to wear glasses. You know how hard it is to make conversation with someone who’s always giggling and saying “Oh! Who’s that? Who just walked by? What’s that? Where are we? What time is it?”… and all that, all night long. Not to mention having to explain to her what was happening in every scene of the movie …
Kaida: No contacts even?
Pete: Claims they bother her eyes.
Kaida: I don’t understand why people who need glasses refuse to wear them. Better to look a little geeky than a lot stupid.
Pete: Yeah, and you know, I don’t even notice them half the time. They’re just part of a face, you know what I mean?
Kaida: I know what you mean. So you don’t subscribe to the theory that “guys don’t make passes” and all that?
Pete: Lemme let you in on a little Guy Secret, Kaida.
Kaida: Ooooooo, do tell - I’m ALL ears.
Pete: Smart-aleck. A guy who likes a girl won’t let a pair of glasses get in the way of making a pass. Besides….
Kaida: Besides what?
Pete: It can be kinda fun getting ‘em steamed up.