Deep Freeze
Originally posted on May 12, 2007
Eron: Hey.
Asher: Hey.
Eron: Question, Bro.
Asher: Yeah?
Eron: You ever have that talk with Grandma, about finding a girl and getting married someday?
Asher: Yeah, we had that talk. Just before she died it was.
Eron: Well, I know this is way nosy but… what did she say to you?
Asher: Why do you ask?
Eron: Because I’ve been observing the way you are with Kohana, and I know you gave her Mom’s pin. It kind of adds up to “looking serious,” at least to me.
Asher: If you were Eli I’d tell you to take your prying questions and get lost. But as it is…. Well, you’re the most like Grandma of any of us. So maybe you’ll understand better. The way it started was, I asked Grandma how I would know when I met someone who was right for me. At the time I had just had three relationships in a row that didn’t end well, and I was a little jaded.
Eron: Yeah, that could do you in. Bet you were thinking it was you, huh?
Asher: Pretty much. First thing Grandma did was to scold me for selling myself short.
Eron: Yeah, Grandma was always doing that.
Asher: Then she said, and I quote: “Asher honey, y’all been barkin’ up the wrong birches.”
Eron: (laughs) I can just hear her saying that to you!
Asher: So she said to me what I have to do, is look for someone not at all like me. Someone grounded where I was a dreamer, someone who dealt in facts and not fantasy, and most importantly, someone who would be more interested in what was on the inside than the outside.
Eron: Ouch.
Asher: Yeah, I thought she was saying I was either ugly or vain.
Eron: Nah, bet what she meant was someone totally unlike those shallow actress types you used to see.
Asher: Exactly. But as you know, I didn’t take her advice, not then.
Eron: Oh yeah, for example there was….
Asher: Uh-huh. Biggest mistake of my life.
Eron: And, unless I’m wrong, the one that put you in relationship deep freeze for a long time afterwards.
Asher: You’re not wrong.
Eron: Didn’t think so. Hey, thanks for telling me.
Asher: Hang on there, hold up.
Eron: What?
Asher: You didn’t ask just out of curiosity.
Eron: Maybe not.
Asher: You were verifying what you already knew.
Eron: Well, yeah.
Asher: And you didn’t ask for no reason. So isn’t it about time you told me about what – or who - put you into deep freeze?