A Lesson in Art Appreciation
Originally posted on November 18, 2007.
Cassandra: Are you ready for our visit to the exhibition, Eli?
Eli: I’ll be ready when I have to be….. like the minute we get there.
Cassandra: Your enthusiasm is underwhelming. Eli.
Eli: Sorry, Cassandra. I told you I’d go – I never promised to love it.
Cassandra: But Eli, it’s the opening of an exhibit by one of my former instructors. I need to make an appearance, and what’s more – I want to go. I think you’ll enjoy his unique perspective.
Eli: Whatever you say, Tiny.
Cassandra: Now, I believe you’ll be more at ease if you feel prepared to socialize with other people at the gallery, so before we go I’m going to give you a crash course in art appreciation.
Eli: Hey - I appreciate fine art. When you put on that little black number for me the other night….
Cassandra: Hush! The others will hear you. That was only for you, Eli.
Eli: I know – wanna go get into it again so I can appreciate it a little more?
Cassandra: *sighs* Eli, I wish you’d stop changing the subject. I don’t want you to feel out of place at the gallery. It’s for your own good….
Eli: You oughtta know by now, Cassandra, how I feel about doin’ something “for my own good.” But hey, go ahead and give me your crash course. Never know, you might be able to infuse some quick culture into this backward hillbilly.
Cassandra: *snorts* I’m going to try to ignore your sarcasm, Eli.
Cassandra: Here we go…………..Tell me what you think of this one.
Eli: Mmmm, yeah……...
Cassandra: What do you think about when you look at it? Be honest now.
Eli: Uhh……...sex.
Cassandra: What?
Eli: You asked, I told you. You can’t see it? I sure can. Next?
Cassandra: All right then, going on to the next. How do you feel when you look at this painting?
Eli: Hot.
Cassandra: Eli! Please -- be serious. You agreed.
Eli: I am serious. It’s a landscape. The big outdoors…. Summertime. Weather’s hot in summer….. oh, were you thinking….? Why Cassandra, I’m shocked.
Cassandra: You are not. Now….maybe one more…. before I give up….. Pretend you’re dropped in the middle of the scene depicted in the next one. What would you be thinking?
Eli: Um…. I’m guessin’ you don’t want the truth here either?
Cassandra: Not if it’s more of the same sort of commentary, Eli.
Eli: Hang on, let’s just see what else we have here…………. Ah yes, Starry Night – perhaps Van Gogh’s most famous painting, from his time in Saint Rémy de Provence, late nineteenth century, painted about a year before his death by suicide. Immortalized by twentieth century singer-songwriter Don McLean in his song, “Vincent,” and…….…but it’s the artwork you’re interested in. *flips to next painting*
Eli: Suerat, Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte. Suerat was a master of the technique known as pointillism, and is considered the founder of the Neo-Impressionist movement.
Eli: Salvador Dali, The Persistence of Memory, one of his better-known works. A surrealistic masterpiece painted in 1931 that depicts a melting….
Cassandra: Eli!
Eli: Yes, Darlin’?
Cassandra: You’ve proved your point.
Eli: I have? Well then, if we’re finished with Art Appreciation….
Eli: How’s about we go back to appreciatin’…..
Eli: ….each other.
